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After all I am Blonde..
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May 14, 2012 1:35 am
53 Views
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A blonde had just gotten a new sports car and was out for a drive when she accidentally cut off a truck driver. He motioned for her to pull over.
When she did, he got out of his truck and pulled a piece of chalk from his pocket. He drew a circle on the side of the road and gruffly commanded to the blonde, "Stand in that circle and DON'T MOVE!".
He then went to her car and cut up her leather seats. When he turned around she had a slight grin on her face, so he said, "Oh you think that's funny? Watch this!" He gets a baseball bat out of his truck and breaks every window in her car. When he turns and looks at her she has a smile on her face. He is getting really mad. He gets his knife back out and slices all her tires. Now she's laughing. The truck driver is really starting to lose it. He goes back to his truck and gets a can of gas, pours it on her car and sets it on fire. He turns around and she is laughing so hard she is about to fall down.
"What's so funny?" the truck driver asked the blonde.
She replied, "Every time you weren't looking, I stepped outside the circle!"
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7
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MOM MY MOM
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May 13, 2012 9:50 am
60 Views
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6 years: Mom knows everything..!
8 years: Mom knows alot..!
12 years: Mom really doesn’t know everything..!
14 years: Mom knowsnothing..!
16 years: Mom, what mom..!
18 years: Mom is outdated..!
25 years: Maybe Mom knows..!
35years: Before deciding, let’s ask Mom..!
45 years: I wonder what Mom thinks..!
75 years: I wish Momwas here to ask ♥ Mothers are truly the Best
Gift From God Given From Heaven Above ♥
♥ Happy Mother’s Day...!!! ♥ [/COLOR]
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10
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It is cheating
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May 12, 2012 6:43 am
52 Views
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Once, a Sardarji was travelling on a train. He had to get off on a station that came up at 4 am. He asked the guy sitting opposite him on the train to wake him up at 4 am and gave him Rs 20 to do so.
This guy was a barber, and felt that for Rs 20 the passenger deserved more service. So, when he fell asleep, the barber quietly shaved off is beard!
When the station arrived, the Sardarji was woken up, and he went home. Reaching home he went to wash his face, and suddenly screamed when he saw the mirror.
His wife asked, " What's the matter?"
He replied, "The cheat on the train has taken Rs 20 from me and has woken up someone else, and I am still in the train.!!!"
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4
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New theory of Romance
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May 11, 2012 1:26 am
48 Views
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READ THIS AND WANTED TO SHARE WITH YOU...
Newton New Theory in Romantic Mood...
Universal law:
"Love can neither be created nor be destroyed; only it can transfer from One girlfriend to another girlfriend with some loss of money"
First law:
"A boy in love with a girl, continue to be in love with her and a girl in love with a boy, continue to be in love with him, until or unless any external agent(brother or father of the gal) comes into play and break the legs of the boy."
Second law:
"The rate of change of intensity of love of a girl towards a boy is directly proportional to the instantaneous bank balance of the boy and the direction of this love is same to as increment or decrement of the bank balance."
Third law:
"The force applied while proposing a girl by a boy is equal and opposite to the force applied by the girl while slapping."
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3
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JES IS MISSING
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May 9, 2012 9:17 pm
263 Views
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Dear Friends,
Have you noticed that our friend Jess_the_Chopper is missing from blogs and we donot find even her profile. What is more, even in the list of Blogs, where she was on top, now she is not seen.
Jes.. If you read this please inform, we are very much worried.
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22
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That was your father's family side....
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May 9, 2012 3:45 am
68 Views
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A little girl asked her mother, "How did the human race appear?"
The mother answered, "God made Adam and Eve and they had children, and so was all mankind made..."
Two days later the girl asked her father the same question.
The father answered, "Many years ago there were monkeys from which the human race evolved."
The confused girl returned to her mother and said, "Mom, how is it possible that you told me the human race was created by God, and Dad said they developed from monkeys?"
The mother answered, "Well, dear, it is very simple. I told you about my side of the family and your father told you about his."
[/SIZE
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6
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Lawyers are more shrewd
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May 8, 2012 12:53 am
108 Views
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A doctor and a lawyer were talking at a party.
Their conversation was constantly interrupted by people describing their ailments and asking the doctor for free medical advice.
After an hour of this, the exasperated doctor asked the lawyer, "What do you do to stop people from asking you for legal advice when you're out of the office?"
"I give it to them," replied the lawyer, "and then I send them a bill."
The doctor was shocked, but agreed to give it a try.
The next day, still feeling slightly guilty, the doctor prepared the bills.When he went to place them in his mailbox, he found a bill from the lawyer
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9
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OMG.WHAT IS THIS ALL
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May 7, 2012 9:36 am
122 Views
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1.A pig's orgasm lasts 30 minutes.
(O.M.G.!!!)
2.A cockroach will live nine days without its head before it starves to death.
(Creepy. I'm still not over the pig.)
3.The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to its body. The female initiates sex by ripping the male's head off.
(Honey, I'm home . What the...?)
4.The flea can jump 350 times its body length. It's like a human jumping the length of a football field.
(30 minutes. Lucky pig! Can you imagine?)
5.The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds.
(What could be so tasty on the bottom of a pond?)
6.Some lions mate over 50 times a day.
(I still can't believe that pig ...quality over quantity.)
7.Butterflies taste with their feet.
(Something I always wanted to know.)
8.Elephants are the only animals that cannot jump.
(Okay, so that would be a good thing.)
9.A cat's urine glows under a black light.
(I wonder how much the government paid to figure that out.)
10.An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.
(I know some people like that.)
11.Starfish have no brains.
(I know some people like that, too.)
12.Polar bears are left-handed.
(Talk about a southpaw.)
13.Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure.
(What about that pig? Do the dolphins know about the pig?)
14.Now that you've smiled at least once, it's your turn to spread these crazy facts
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9
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New Learner of English Language.
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May 4, 2012 8:31 am
168 Views
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A person joined the school in middle of his age and
after 3 months, he could speak wonderful english like:
1. There is no Wind in the Foot
Ball.
2 I talk, He Talk, Why you Middle
Talk?
3. You Rotate the Ground 4 times.
4. You go and understand the
Tree.
5 I will Give Clap on your Face.
6. Bring your Parents with your
Mother and Father,.
7: Why Haircut not Cut??
8: Why are you looking outside at
the Monkeys when I'm there in
the Class??
Do you want to join school...
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13
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It was not detergent..but....
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May 3, 2012 1:41 am
154 Views
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A young boy, about eight years old, walks into the local grocery store and picks our a huge box of laundry detergent.
The grocer walked over, and trying to be friendly, asked the boy if he had a lot of laundry to do.
"Oh, no laundry," the boy said, "I'm going to wash my dog!"
"But you shouldn't use this to wash your dog. It's very powerful and if you wash your dog in this, he'll get sick. In fact, it might even kill him."
But the boy was not to be stopped and carried the detergent to the counter and paid for it, even as the grocer still tried to talk him out of washing his dog.
About a week later the boy was back in the store to buy some candy. The grocer asked the boy how his dog was doing.
"Oh, he died," the boy said sadly.
The grocer, trying not to be an I-told-you-so, said he was sorry the dog died but added, "I tried to tell you not to use that detergent on your dog!"
"Well," the boy replied, "I don't think it was the detergent that killed him."
"Oh? What was it then?"
"I think it was the spin cycle!"
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3
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